Added: Benjamin Laird - Date: 16.05.2022 20:23 - Views: 18214 - Clicks: 3490
Photograph via Getty Images. For almost three years now, Bella Hadid, Kendall Jenner, and practically every starlet with an instagram have been gradually adjusting their wardrobe to mimic the girl in their high school class that they probably ignored. Where there was once punk music, wild fringeand DIY clothing, lies expertly smoked eyes, slashed deer denim, and producer-finessed music in its stead. Earlier this year, Kendall Jenner, perhaps taking a cue from Lorde and her brother-in-law Kanye West, dressed up like a mall goth and went to McDonalds with her best friend Bella Hadid.
They wore matching baby buns and deep blue eyeshadow, as well as the deep reds and blacks that define goth style. As Prometheus created man from mud, the ideal GF meme was created from shit by 4chan. Before 4chan was overtaken by the incels of the alt-right, its main purpose was to produce consistently funny memes.
Ina 4chan user ed an editable MS paint image of a female triangle skirt bottom stick figure with the prompt to create your ideal gf. Suddenly, a vast swath of the internet was begging to date women dressed in black and that Old English font. Thousands of people have tweeted in said format, in which the subject voices their need for a Goth GF, but knows, somehow, that the love is destined to go unrequited.
While her identity remains fixed, the identities of her admirers are deeply varied: normies, SoundCloud rappers, hypebeasts, skaters, weedhe, celebrities, and startup people have all expressed their need for a goth GF. She is a low-risk target, someone they cannot disappoint. The form the Goth GF takes is hotly debated, with some joking that she needs large breastsothers that she should be decked out in laceand others doubting the authenticity of the Goth GF completely.
But even as so many memes enter our lives with a whip and leave with nothing more than a nae nae, this lust for the Goth GF is incredibly resilient. The fantasy hit an an unexpected apotheosis at the Met Gala, with the debut of unmistakably goth spritely-electronic musician Grimes and Tesla overlord Elon Musk as a couple.
She famously tried to sail down the Mississippi River in a houseboat full of live chickens in skull emoji.
But now she dates Elon Musk, a neo-imperialist technocrat who makes fancy cars for the uber rich and attempts to privatize public transport under the guise of innovation dying rose emoji. As a society, we have reached peak Goth GF.
As with all things—trade unions, space travel, democracy—a billionaire has exceeded the power of mere mortals, and destroyed the Goth GF. Even Weird Al is bemused.
As the Goth GF dies out, enter: a void that must be filled. Aggregating internet data—an extraordinarily unscientific method—there appear to be three alternative archetypes for her eventual, necessary replacement.
Meanwhile, at MadeMe, deer Erin Magee who also des at Supreme gives us a full body cow-print workwear look modeled by Princess Nokia for Spring Will we, someday soon, see the internet-at-large declare its need for a girlfriend that can wrangle steer? Just the word cowgirl seems enough to excite the more licentious internet user. If you walk around in certain downtown Manhattan neighborhoods you will find that some of the most beautiful women dress exactly like mechanics.
They wear thick canvas workwear shirts, sometimes with two name tagsmimicking the uniform of automotive repairmen though the primary pit stops they make are to matcha bars and art galleries. She wears poofy sleevesplaids and ginghams with PVC and plastic —materials absolutely not shorn from the family sheep.
She ventures out with wet-look hair, with little makeup, her primping routines perhaps cut short by an abduction. Now all we need is Kacey Musgraves to start dating Sergey Brin. I will not read any more boring newsletters.Any gothic girls
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The Complete History of the Goth Girlfriend, the Internet’s Darkest Ingénue